The Rancher's Christmas Bride Page 10

  “Growing up, my dad liked to tell me to stop dreaming. He told me I’d never make it to the pros in bull riding. He told me I wouldn’t amount to anything. Worthless. That was his pet name for me and Marcus.”

  Duncan Matthews had heard the story more than once but he still shook his head and sighed. “His voice is still in your head. But the difference is, God is in your heart and His plan is what matters. He’s given you a hope and a future. So whose voice do you trust the most?”

  “Good sermon, Pastor.”

  The sarcasm rolled off the other man and he just laughed. “Thank you, Alex. I might use that next Sunday.”

  “Then you won’t mind if I’m not at church. Since I helped write the sermon and all.”

  “Oh, you should be there. I’ll mention your name in the final credits.” He pulled on a pair of work gloves. “Let me help you with this fence before I go.”

  “Thanks, I’d appreciate that.”

  An hour later they were pulling the fence when Duncan stepped back and wiped at the perspiration dripping down his face. “This is not easy work and I’m out of shape.”

  “Stick with me. I’ll keep you working and get you back in shape.”

  “That’s good of you, but I think I’ll stick to my day job. Hey, by the way, how’s Dan doing?”

  They fastened the last section of the fence and Alex pulled off his gloves.

  “He’s better. Marissa is still here, helping him out.”

  “That’s good of her. I’m sure he appreciates it.”

  “I don’t think I’d call it appreciation. And if he does appreciate it, he isn’t going to tell her or anyone else.”

  “She seems like a nice girl.”

  At the seemingly innocent statement, Alex laughed. “I see where this is going.”

  Pastor Matthews looked innocent. “I’m not sure what you mean?”

  “Single woman comes to town. Single man obviously needs a wife.”

  “I didn’t know you were looking for a wife.”

  “I’m single and I plan on staying that way.”

  “Time has a way of changing things.”

  Alex tossed the post driver and two remaining posts in the back of the truck before answering. “That isn’t changing. I know how to ride bulls. I can raise some cattle. I can train a horse. But I’m not about to follow in the footsteps of my father and ruin the lives of a woman or children.”

  “Alex, you aren’t your father.”

  “No, I’m not. And I don’t plan on becoming my father. Ever.” Alex glanced at his watch, needing to end this conversation before it went from uncomfortable to downright aggravating. “I’m bringing the pony tomorrow and I’ll be there to help with the Christmas lists.”

  “Again, I’d say you aren’t your father. You’re the real deal, Alex.”

  Alex reached for the jug of water in the back of his truck. “Bringing a pony to a fund-raiser for some kids to ride doesn’t change much. I’m just doing what I can.”

  “That’s all any of us can do. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Sure thing.”

  He watched the pastor drive away. He could admit he was pretty thankful for Duncan Matthews. The man had done a lot for the community. He’d done a lot for Alex.

  Now if Alex could only make himself believe that there was a silver lining in this cloud of a situation with the ranch.

  He could live without this place. He could start over on a smaller spread of his own. No matter what, he knew he’d survive the loss of the ranch.

  But he wasn’t sure about Marcus. Or even Maria. He couldn’t let go of the ranch. Bad memories and all, it was one of the few constants in their lives.

  He had a lot of plans for this place, and for the future. Marissa Walker didn’t figure into those plans.

  At least, that was what he told himself, even if it wasn’t close to the truth.

  Chapter Nine

  “I don’t see why I have to go to town with you,” Dan grumbled as they headed for the truck late Friday afternoon. “When are you going to head back to Dallas? Or are you going to stay and nag at me for another couple of weeks?”

  Marissa kept her lips pressed in a firm and disapproving line, the better to deal with her grandfather. He was right, she should be going home. With Christmas coming up and a new job to start in January, she needed to get back to life. Her life.

  But lately she wondered if it had ever truly been her life.

  “Dan, get in the truck.” She opened the passenger-side door and he stood there looking at her. He scratched his grizzled chin and shook his head.

  “This is my truck. Why am I getting in on the passenger side?”

  “Because you haven’t been cleared to drive.” And because she obviously loved getting pulled over by the local cop.

  Her grandfather glowered at her. But then his expression softened. “It hasn’t been all bad. Having you here.”

  “It hasn’t been all bad being here.”

  “It wasn’t like I had a choice,” her grandfather said a few minutes later, as they were driving down the road toward Bluebonnet.

  Marissa gave him a quick look. “What?”

  “Letting you stay. I didn’t have much choice in the matter, now did I?” He cleared his throat and she waited, wondering if he could give her a final ultimatum on leaving. “Still, I’m glad we had a chance to get to know each other.”

  “Me, too.” She drove another mile, then slowed to pull into the church parking lot. “I’m going to buy us a Christmas tree.”

  He brushed a hand over his unshaven face. “Now listen here, just because I said something nice doesn’t mean you have the right to start hauling in your stuff. I don’t want a tree. I don’t have room for a tree. End of story.”

  “It’s almost Christmas. We need a tree.”

  “You’re going back to Dallas and then I’ll have to deal with taking it down. And the mess. No, ma’am, no tree.”

  “The money goes to the shelter. And besides, you’ll thank me when it’s decorated and has lights.”

  “I doubt that,” he grumbled. “But go ahead. Do what you want.”

  She got out of the truck and headed for the trees that were in a sectioned-off area of the churchyard. She didn’t look back to see if Dan had followed. The sound of children laughing drew her attention to an area at the back of the church. In a round pen a man walked a gray pony carrying a little girl.

  “Dad-burn-it,” Dan growled. “I nearly ran into you. What in the world are you thinking, stopping like that?”

  “Sorry, Granddad, I got distracted.”

  “Uh-huh, by Alex Palermo. No wonder you’re still hanging around.”

  “I’m here because you’re my grandfather.”

  “I know who I am. My lungs are bad, not my memory. Now let’s get a tree. Mind you, keep it small. I don’t have a lot of room.”

  She hooked her arm through his and he shook his head. But he also didn’t pull away from her.

  The trees were all sizes and shapes, already set up in tree stands. Marissa led her grandfather to a tree that stood about three feet tall. It wasn’t overly round and it had a nice shape.

  “This one,” she told him.

  “If that’s the one you want.” He pulled out his billfold.

  “I’ll buy it.”

  “Don’t argue with me. It’s my tree and my house.” He pulled away from her. “Dane Scott, I’m here to buy a tree.”

  The man her grandfather approached was in his early thirties. He was tall and had a genuine smile as he greeted Dan.

  “Having a woman around will make a man change his ways, Dan.”

  “Don’t I know it.” Her grandfather shot her an amused look. “One week almost and she’s had me in th
e hospital and now cluttering the place up with a Christmas tree.”

  Dane laughed. “But you love it and don’t deny it.”

  Her grandfather didn’t deny it. Granddad grumbled that Dane could help put the tree in the back of the truck.

  “Come on,” her grandfather said as he walked past her. “I guess we might as well see what else is going on. You’re a little old but I reckon I can take you to the pony rides. Seems that’s what a grandfather should do.”

  “I’m a little too big for pony rides but you can buy me a burger.” She pointed to the concession stand.

  “That’ll make my cholesterol go up.”

  “It’s for a good cause. The money is for the women’s shelter. The money they earn today will help buy Christmas gifts for these children and other needy families.”

  “I know what the money is for.” Dan headed for the pony rides. “Come on. We have twenty-six years of lost time to make up for.”

  She followed her grandfather, her feet dragging. He’d somehow managed to turn the tables on her. When she reached the pony ride, there were only a few children waiting. Her grandfather got in line.

  The children and the two moms present gave them curious looks and then whispered behind their hands. The little girl in front of Dan reached for his hand and gave it a tug.

  “Hey, aren’t you too big to ride a pony?” The little girl wrinkled her nose at Marissa’s grandfather and then squinted as she looked at Marissa.

  “My granddaughter has never ridden a pony,” Dan told the child in a much kinder tone than he’d ever used with Marissa. “And if you’re nice, I’ll pay for you to ride that pony twice.”

  “Really? Twice?” The child beamed with happiness.

  Dan nodded and handed her the money. “Merry Christmas.”

  The child pulled on his hand and motioned him to her level. When Dan leaned down, the little girl gave him a quick hug. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” he said in a voice thick with emotion. “It’s not like it’s a big deal.”

  “To her it is,” Marissa countered. “You’re a big softy. But I won’t tell.”

  They waited ten minutes in line. Marissa kept her gaze averted so that she didn’t make eye contact with Alex. She talked to her grandfather. She talked to the child, whose name was Joy, and then to the mom, Hanna, and her daughter, Amy, who got in line behind them.

  She allowed the children to move ahead of her in the line.

  Finally they were at the front of the line. She had no intention of getting on the tiny pony that Alex held as he looked at them. His hand went to the gray neck of the pony. He studied them with his hat pulled low. Ever so slowly he shook his head, and white teeth flashed as the corners of his mouth tugged up.

  “Dan, the pony ride is for kids.”

  Dan looked from the pony to Marissa and back to the pony. Marissa put a hand on his arm. She’d gone along with the silliness. Now she felt even more.

  “Dan, really, we both know I can’t ride that pony.”

  “I know but I liked the idea of it.” He looked away but not before she saw a shimmer of moisture in his eyes. “It’s what I would have done...”

  “Yes, I know.”

  Alex patted her grandfather on the back. “Give me five minutes, Dan. I think I can solve this problem.”

  Marissa wanted to walk away. The last thing she wanted to do was stand there looking conspicuous while her grandfather smiled as if he’d just scored a major victory.

  When her grandfather chuckled she shot him a questioning look. “What’s so funny?”

  “You,” he replied. “That is not a happy look on your face. I got you a pony ride. I don’t see why you’re so upset.”

  “I didn’t want a pony ride,” she told him. “I’m doing this for you.”

  “And I’m doing this for you. You’ll either thank me. Or you’ll thank me to stay out of your business.”

  She was being taught a lesson. On meddling. And for some reason, rather than being put out, she was amused. Her grandfather’s blue eyes twinkled as he watched her. When he winked, she laughed.

  “You’re impossible.”

  He laughed a little harder. “That’s what your grandmother told me the entire twelve years of our marriage.”

  “I wish...” she began. But she didn’t know how to continue. He must have known because he shifted uncomfortably and let out a long sigh.

  “She had good reasons for leaving, so don’t wish for something that wouldn’t have done anyone any good.”

  “But she could have let my mother see you,” she said.

  “I wasn’t much of a husband. Or much of a father. I drank too much. I cared too little. Until they were gone. Later on I cared a lot, but it was too late. Your mother was better off without me.”

  “I’m sorry,” she told him. Briefly she leaned her head against his shoulder and she wondered what life might have been like had he been in their world. He would have been gruff but he would have spoken the truth. Maybe he would have prodded them all into living their lives and not wallowing in the grief after the loss of her sister.

  “I’ve never been more sorry than now,” he answered. “And I mean that, Marissa. I really do wish I’d been there for you all.”

  She wiped at tears rolling down her cheeks. She wished he’d been there, too. Because at times it had seemed that everyone had someone to lean on. And she’d been left with no one. Her parents had leaned on each other. Her grandmother had leaned on friends. Marissa had been a child alone.

  After the near miss of a wedding, she realized she would have continued to have no one if she’d married Aidan. Not once in the entire time they’d been dating had she ever shared with him how much it had hurt to lose her sister. She hadn’t confided how she’d always felt guilty. She hadn’t shared anything of her struggles with him.

  Alex was lifting a child off the pony and talking to her about the little horse he called Cobalt. The mother thanked him. He watched them walk away and then focused his attention on Dan and Marissa. She wondered what he thought of them.

  Because she wanted to confide in him. She wanted to tell him things about herself and about her new job that she didn’t really want.

  She pushed away the thoughts because this wasn’t home and could never be home. She knew that.

  Still, it never hurt to dream, did it?

  * * *

  Alex checked himself before he tied Cobalt and headed for Dan and Marissa. She had that hurt expression on her face. As much as he wanted to ask her what was wrong, he knew he couldn’t. She wasn’t his problem. If he knew what had put that look on her face, he’d want to know more. To help her. He was already all kinds of involved, he didn’t want to get even more involved. The sooner she hightailed it back to Dallas, the better.

  “Well, Palermo, tell us why we’ve been standing here waiting for you,” Old Dan grouched in his customary tone. Most people were put off by Dan. Alex wasn’t. He’d seen the older man take in too many strays. He’d also seen the kindness in his eyes when he asked questions.

  More than once in Alex’s life, Dan had given him a stern talking-to about living in the past and how it did a man no good to dwell on mistakes made. Better to make wiser choices in the future and keep moving forward, Dan had told him.

  “I have a pony more Marissa’s size.” Alex took her by the hand, the gesture a little too easy, and led her to his truck and trailer. He’d put up a few panels and penned his horse, Bolt. “I brought him with me today because he needs to hang out with crowds.”

  Bolt was a pale cream, almost white. He had crazy eyes but a good disposition. Alex had learned not to judge a horse by the eyes.

  “That horse isn’t going to throw my granddaughter, is he?” Dan asked, stepping close to take a good look at Bolt.

/>   “I wouldn’t let her on him if I thought he would throw her,” Alex answered as he stepped inside the pen with the horse.

  Bolt stood still as Alex slid the bridle on and then saddled him. He adjusted the stirrups, tightened the cinch and led the horse out. All this time he’d been avoiding eye contact with Marissa. Now he could no longer avoid it. She had backed a few steps away from the horse and her blue eyes were wide.

  “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of this one, too?”

  “Has she seen any other?” Dan asked, his eyes narrowing as he looked from one to the other of them.

  “Yeah, the other day I rode over to your place.” Alex had tossed out the comment with a casual shrug. Dan didn’t look happy.

  It seemed wise to move on. “You ready for your pony ride?”

  She stepped forward.

  Alex stepped around the front of the horse. “You’re on the wrong side.”

  “Oh.” She eased around the front of the horse.

  He circled her wrist with his hand. It was a small wrist. She gave him a look and he cleared his throat and remembered that he was letting her have a belated pony ride. He glanced at Dan. “This is going to cost you five dollars for the shelter fund.”

  “I’ll write the preacher a check,” Dan said with a twinkle in his faded blue eyes.

  “Left foot in the stirrup.”

  She lifted her left foot.

  “Grab hold of the saddle horn and pull yourself up.”

  She did, but with a struggle. He smiled as she settled on the saddle, looking a little apprehensive as she bit down on her bottom lip. He handed her the reins and she took them in hands that appeared to shake. And then, before he could take hold of the bridle, she gave Bolt a nudge with her heel and shot forward.

  “Hey,” he yelled as she took off.

  She glanced back, laughing. “Summer camp. Every year since I was five.”

  Dan slapped his leg and chortled. “I guess she showed you.”

  Alex glared at the older man. “This is going to cost you more than five bucks, Dan.”

  “I kind of figured. But in my defense, I didn’t know she could ride.”