Rekindled Hearts Page 8

  Her hand settled on her phone, and she almost dialed his number, nearly told him that this was a bad idea. But instead she followed him to his house, pulling into the driveway of the one-bedroom cottage right behind him.

  When he got out, she waited, still having a serious talk with herself about the danger involved in having tea with Colt. Her mind took a trip back to college and to having him in her life, holding her hand, being there for her every day. He had made her laugh. He had been the first person to make her feel as if she wasn’t alone.

  She had known, even then, that he had this insane sense of responsibility. She had known then that he had a past, ghosts of some kind that he didn’t share. But that injured part of him had drawn her, too. He was everything she wanted. He had grown up in a real family, with laughter and Sunday dinners. He was strong and capable. He was tender and hurting.

  He had loved her. She could see in his eyes that the feelings weren’t gone. That made losing him hurt all the more.

  It made her want to work this out—to talk—even more. And that’s why she took the keys from the ignition and smiled through the closed window of her truck.

  He opened her truck door and she stepped out, not sure what to say or how to say it. His house, a small cottage, dark without a security light and no porch light, sat to the left of the driveway. Chico ran out from behind the house, pounding the ground like a bull on the rampage.

  “Chico, stay down,” Colt ordered and the dog slowed to a lumbering pace, but his panting tongue was out, ready to show them love.

  “He’s a mess.” Lexi finally spoke, but it took a lot to get the words out. Her gaze shot past Colt and the dog to the house.

  “Tea, Lexi, just tea. It’s been a long day. We could both use a friend who understands, and who isn’t trying to fix us up with someone else.”

  “I thought you were dating.” She bit down on her lip after the words slipped out. She didn’t want to be catty.

  “Maybe three times in the last year.”

  “Jackie Gardner.”

  He nodded. “She teaches kindergarten now, and I think she’s dating the new fifth-grade teacher. She told me I’m obsessed with my job.”

  “Hmm, imagine that.” Lexi smiled and waited for Colt to see the humor in the comment. He smiled a little and took hold of her hand.

  He fished the key out of his pocket with his left hand and let go of her hand long enough to unlock the front door. “Have a seat, and I’ll get the water on.”

  “Out here.” She pointed to the chairs on the front porch. She couldn’t go inside. “I’ll wait for you.”

  He shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

  Lexi stood at the edge of the porch and watched as Colt walked into the house. Lights came on. She could hear the radio through the opened window and Colt talking to Chico, because the dog had followed him.

  It was time for her to get a new dog of her own. Obviously Chico wasn’t coming back. It had been two years.

  She sat on the edge of one of the wicker chairs and leaned forward, feeling a little cool in the crisp autumn night. Somewhere an owl screeched and a car horn honked. Through the open window she could hear Colt singing along, off-key and loud, to George Strait as he banged around in the kitchen.

  The screen door creaked. Lexi watched as Chico worked it open with his nose and then slid through the opening. The door banged shut and he hurried to her side.

  “Hey, buddy.” She rubbed his ears and he pushed closer with a toy.

  She took the slobbery tennis ball from his mouth and gave it a toss. The dog lumbered into the yard, sniffing in the general direction of the ball until he found it. He walked back to her, but this time he dropped the ball and sat down.

  “Want me to throw it again?” She reached for it, but the dog grabbed it first and trotted off.

  “There’s something wrong with a Lab that doesn’t like to play fetch.” Colt pushed the door open with his shoulder and joined her, holding out one of the cups he carried.

  He sat in the chair next to hers, and Lexi knew they wouldn’t talk. She knew they would have tea and she would leave, and they would be right where they left off—not dealing with the marriage that had come unraveled.

  She sipped the chamomile, knowing that within thirty minutes it would have her drowsy and ready for bed. But it tasted good, with just the right amount of sugar.

  “Did I get it right?” Colt asked.

  “Perfect.” She sipped again. Chico was back, without the tennis ball. He’d probably buried it. That’s what he did with things that they played with. When he was done playing their people games, he buried the toys.

  “Crazy dog.”

  She nodded and leaned back, feeling a little more relaxed. Probably thanks to the tea and to the cool night air.

  “Colt, I’m not sure why I’m here. We have to figure this out.”

  “I know.”

  “I miss you, but I’m not willing to do this again.” Falling apart because they couldn’t communicate and because they were both afraid. “I’m not afraid anymore.”

  “I’m glad.” He sighed, and she knew he was remembering the night she called his cell phone twenty times because he wasn’t answering, and she didn’t know that he was in a dead spot, without a signal. She had worried that something had happened to him.

  “A lot has changed.”

  “We’ve changed.”

  “We’re older and wiser.” She smiled over the brim of her cup and took a drink.

  “I’m not sure about the wiser stuff. But, Lexi, my job hasn’t changed. I know you have faith, but I’m still struggling with that. I still think about finding Gavin. I still think about his wife and kids, and how it felt to tell them. I think about how it would be for my own wife and kids to get that news.”

  Her world crumbled a little because his pain matched hers, and yet they were dealing with it alone. She set her cup down on the table next to the chair and turned. He looked as miserable as he sounded.

  “Colt, that isn’t going to happen.”

  “It could, Lex. It could. I know that High Plains is a safe place. I thought this county was safe, that we were protected from what happens in cities.”

  “And because of Gavin, you think you were wrong?” Pain mingled with anger, and she didn’t know which to deal with. Anger seemed easier. “This isn’t fair. I want to be understanding. But you took away my dreams, my future with the man I love.”

  “I did it to protect you.” He stood up, his cup still in his hand.

  “And yet, here I am.” She stood up and walked toward him. “I’m here, Colt.”

  He set the cup down on the rail of the porch. Lexi waited, breathless. Her invitation was clear and she didn’t have long to wait. His hands tangled in her hair and he drew her close, holding her near to him, so near she could feel his breath on her neck and hear the steady beat of his heart. His lips grazed her cheek and then her lips.

  “I miss you.” She whispered close to his ear and then his lips were on hers again.

  “I know. Me, too.”

  Lexi wrapped her arms around his waist and he held her close. And she didn’t want to leave. She didn’t want to spend another night alone, with her husband a mile down the road with her dog. She didn’t want to wake up alone, knowing he still loved her and she still loved him.

  Chico ran up the steps and dropped a stick at their feet.

  “Stupid dog, now he decides to play fetch.” Colt’s words were a little shaky.

  And Lexi returned to reality, where her husband was no longer her husband. He had made a choice, to put his career first.

  “I need to go.” She grabbed her purse. “Thank you for the tea.”

  “Lexi, don’t leave like this.” Colt followed her down the stairs.

  “There is no leaving, Colt. You already left, remember. This is just leftovers, and I don’t want leftovers.”

  He reached for her hand and pulled her back. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I wanted to protect you. I
wanted you to have everything.”

  “You were my everything. You were the person who made me smile. You helped me believe in myself. And then you took it all away because you decided it was too difficult.”

  His hand was still holding hers and he lifted it to kiss her palm. “I never meant to hurt you.”

  “But you did.”

  Colt watched her drive away. Chico stood next to him, pushing the stick against Colt’s hand, asking to play. He reached down and ran his fingers through the soft fur at the dog’s neck.

  “I really messed things up, Chico.”

  A door slammed, the neighbor’s porch light went on. “Colt, is that you out there?”

  “It is, Jeremiah. Sorry if I was too noisy.”

  “You weren’t noisy. Was that Lexi, leaving out here all mad?”

  Colt groaned, quietly, and only Chico heard. The dog pushed a cold nose into his hand. Dog sympathy, just what he needed.

  “Yes, it was Lexi.”

  “Thought so. You think you two kids might work it out?”

  Work it out. That made it sound as if something disastrous had happened to their marriage. That was probably what people thought. But it hadn’t been something disastrous. It had been a shift on his part, and at the moment it felt like a huge mistake.

  “I doubt if we’ll work it out, Jeremiah. We were just having a cup of tea.”

  “You gotta start somewhere, Colt. Sometimes it takes a conversation or two with a woman. They like to share their feelings.”

  “That they do, Jeremiah.”

  “That’s why I’ve been married fifty years. I let my wife talk.”

  Colt didn’t see how she had a chance to talk. He’d had conversations with Jeremiah. It usually included Colt listening to his neighbor, and Jeremiah talking for an hour without taking a visible breath. Maybe Jeremiah was making up for the times that his wife talked and he didn’t?

  “Well, Jeremiah, guess I should get to bed. I’ve got an early day tomorrow.”

  “Uh-huh.” Jeremiah walked out on the porch. “Is that what you did to Lexi when the two of you were married, tell her you had to go to bed.”

  Colt looked away. Small towns were great, but there was something to be said about the anonymity of living in a city where people couldn’t use phrases like “Known you since you were knee-high to a grasshopper,” and feel as if that gave them a right to get into a guy’s personal business.

  “Yep, that’s a man thing to do.” Jeremiah laughed, a deep chuckle in the still of an autumn night, reminding Colt that his neighbor was still on the porch. “Go on to bed, Colt, but you might want to work on that listening thing. That’s what my wife always tells me. She says, ‘Jeremiah, don’t just listen, you need to actually hear what I’m saying.’”

  “Thanks, Jeremiah. I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “That’s listening, not hearing.” Jeremiah shook his head and walked back into his house, the door shutting softly behind him.

  Colt stood in the yard for a few more minutes. He looked up at the stars, wondering about God and where He really was. People looked up, because that’s where they imagined Him. But Michael had said something the other day: “God is as close as our heart if we will only let Him in.”

  God isn’t up there somewhere, or out there in the distance. He’s right here, all the time, waiting for us to call on Him.

  Waiting.

  Colt sat down on the porch step and Chico pushed his head into Colt’s arms. “Buddy, I’ve made a royal mess of my life and Lexi’s. If God was right here, I think I’ve pushed Him away, too.”

  Pushed away, because a twelve-year-old Colt couldn’t understand how his family watched half of their ranch being auctioned off to pay his dad’s medical bills after a tractor accident and still went to church on Sundays to thank God for what they had left. God hadn’t answered their prayers for the insurance company to pay for those surgeries.

  God hadn’t answered his prayers the night he found Gavin bleeding at the side of the road.

  And now, how many prayers were being lifted up for a child named Kasey, for a lost dog, for a town that was trying to rebuild.

  Colt bowed his head. Not really to pray, but to think, because he wondered, he often wondered. He knew God. He knew the reality of faith. He knew the ache of letting down the people he cared about.

  And God, because the world wasn’t a perfect place, didn’t intervene when a police officer was shot down, or a tornado barreled toward a town, leaving behind miles of destruction. When those things happened, where was God?

  A prayer away. The thought slipped into Colt’s mind, almost a whisper.

  “I want to have faith, God. I want to believe You have answers. But how do I trust? How do I let go and let You take care of the people I care about?”

  And what did he do with the feelings for his ex-wife, feelings that he had tried to convince himself were fading. He’d done a good job over the last two years, telling himself he was moving on. The only thing he’d managed to do was move his stuff to another house.

  That wasn’t really moving on.

  Chapter Six

  On Thursday, Lexi had promised to help plant trees, replacing those that had been blown down on the town green along the river and next to some of the businesses. She pulled her truck into a parking space and saw Jill, along with a few others, already digging holes.

  Lexi grabbed the pick and shovel she’d brought from home and walked toward the group. Jill waved and pointed toward the church. The blue Jeep that Colt drove.

  “Any idea what he’s doing at the church?” Jill didn’t wait for Lexi to reach her, but tossed the question out from twenty feet away.

  Lexi shook her head. “None of my business.”

  “You have to wonder.” Jill pushed her shovel into the ground and, with her foot, pushed it a little farther. “Do you think they’ve found the ring? Or maybe Tommy’s dog?”

  “Not a clue, Jill.”

  “That’s what we need. We need clues.” Jill laughed, because she was being purposely annoying. Lexi ignored it.

  “Where do you want me to dig?” She set her shovel and pick down and pulled on leather work gloves.

  “About ten feet over.” Jill nodded in the general direction. “He’s been there for forty-five minutes.”

  Lexi picked up her shovel and moved away from her friend. She pushed it into the ground, scooping one shovelful of earth out of the ground and on the next attempt, hit a rock. She moved the shovel to a new spot and hit more rocks. “Wonderful.”

  “How is your house coming along?” Jill asked, leaning on her shovel. She had her hole nearly big enough for the tree.

  “About like everything else in this town.” Lexi glanced toward Main Street. Not the most heavily damaged area of town, but the most visible. Windows had been replaced and stores cleaned up. “What I wouldn’t give to be able to walk into Hair and Nails for a pedicure.”

  That might not happen for a long time.

  Businesses that she loved, people she cared about, and some would never return. Her heart ached at the thought. Life brought changes, she knew that, but letting go wasn’t easy. At least she had faith. And since the tornado, her faith had grown. She had seen God work in so many little ways.

  “The town does look better.” Jill had returned to the hole she was digging. “When it first happened, I wondered if we would get to this point. Things are slowly returning to normal.”

  “I hope the churches don’t.”

  “Do what?” Jill paused short of reaching for the tree she was about to plant.

  Lexi dug at the hole with the pick she’d brought, trying to pry the rock loose so she could keep digging. It was hot, and perspiration trickled down her cheeks. “The good thing about this tornado was the way people came together. People turned to God and they didn’t give up. Instead everyone seemed to get stronger.”

  “You have a point. Of course, there are the few people who wondered why God didn’t stop it from happe
ning.”

  Lexi glanced in the direction of the church, where the Jeep was still parked, and she nodded.

  People like Colt. It was the police officer side of his nature, always investigating and seeking answers, thinking there has to be more to the story. Colt wanted to protect everyone.

  She shrugged off the resentment that tried to edge into her heart. She knew that Colt blamed God. What he failed to see was God’s grace in the situation.

  He failed to see the good that had come of this tornado and the lives that had been changed for the better. Every time she saw Greg Garrison and Maya, Lexi wanted to shout, it made her so happy. When she saw Heather next to Michael on Sunday mornings, what a wonderful blessing.

  It helped Lexi to focus on those good stories that had come from the tragedy of the tornado. Even Jesse Logan was putting his life back together. Jesse and his three babies.

  Lexi had a feeling these stories were only the beginning of the happy endings the tornado would provide for High Plains. She had been reading back over the history of the town, and she knew that the 1860 storm had brought similar, life-altering tales of love and bravery. Those stories were recorded as the history of the town. And someday this storm would be recorded in history, and the faith people turned to would be an example for others to follow.

  “Lexi, are you going to beat that rock to death?” Jill laughed a little, but her tone was serious, maybe a little worried.

  Lexi looked up, smiling when she glanced into the hole, at the crumbled remains of the rock that had gotten in her way.

  “At least I can dig the hole now.”

  “We were talking about your house. When is it going to be finished?”

  “He says four months. But he said that depends on everything he has to do. I don’t know.”

  “Are you sure you can trust this guy.”

  “My parents gave me his name.”

  Jill’s nose scrunched. “I know, I know.”

  “I want to get this done and get back to living my life, not feeling like everything is on hold.” She smiled, getting it. “You think my parents sent someone who would sabotage the house and then I’d be forced to move back to Manhattan.”